I am sorry Zeagy. I have indeed, been a very iffy blogger lately. I've got my head up my arse. I am currently going through some mental trauma regarding school right now. One of my instructors has decided to play dirty. I don't want to say too much because certain people read this.
It is nice, warm, and rainy right now and I am listening to a song called "One Jump Ahead" from the Disney movie Alladin. My children are beating eachother. Normal day in KelieLand.

I couldn't blog yesterday because my internet connection wasn't cooperating. I could sign into Yahoo! and AIM but I couldn't get onto any internet websites, or my email or anything until really late last night, but by that time all I wanted to do was talk to Chunk. So, there, I've an excuse for my slacking this time :-p
*Very Long Parenting Story*
Yesterday I had a pretty good day, nothing too terribly important happened. My daughter and I had a showdown last night, a power struggle if you will. She was refusing to go use the potty at first. She had done well all day and not wet herself once, and she even took herself to the potty without needing any help 3 times. After Charley had gone to bed, she started acting up for some reason. I asked her if she needed to go potty and she said very defiantly, "NO Mommy!". I checked her panties and she wasn't wet so I let it slide. I put on her favorite movie and she was very content in watching it. After a few minutes, I looked back and she was naked. I told her to put her panties and shirt back on and she screamed no again and ran and hid. I knew instantly it was because she had wet herself. So I asked her if she needed to go potty, and she of course, said no, and I asked her if it was because she already pottied in her panties and she nodded, and looked rather sheepish. We went to the bathroom and cleaned up, and I sat her on the toilet, and she actually did go pee pee a little so I praised her and put clean panties on her and let her go watch the rest of her movie. Some time later she started her demanding-a-drink-of-everything routine, and I told her that is not how she should speak to her mother, and if she wants something she needs to ask nicely. She asked for chocolate milk, and said please, so I gave her some. Not even 2 minutes later she was screaming at the top of her lungs for applejuice. I told her she could not have applejuice, because she had asked for chocolate milk and that would be wasting it. I looked around and didn't see her cup of chocolate milk anywhere. This was when I lost my cool. As a sidenote, in Illinois, we have a major ant problem. Any minute speck or crumb, or droplet of anything sweet causes them to flock by the millions to my living room. So naturally, when the kids spill stuff on the floor, I freak. And Hollie really does know better. When I couldn't find her chocolate milk cup, I was envisioning it sitting upside down somewhere slowly leaking syrupy chocolate milk all over the floor and a bazillion ants swarming it. So, I admit it, I yelled at her. I yelled at my daughter, giving her ammo to yell back at me, If Mommy is yelling than it must be ok, right? I snatched Hollie up and sat her in the loathed time out chair. She was crying so pitifully. I caught myself and realized I wasn't handling this situation in the most mature way I could. And, I felt horrible for yelling at her. I let her sit her 3 minutes in time out, and then asked her to come talk to me. I sat her on my lap and explained to her about the ants, and the cup etc. We said our sorries to eachother, hugged, and kissed. She found the cup, which luckily had been upright hiding behind the television, and politely asked for applejuice instead of milk. I allowed her to have applejuice, on the condition she let me put her pajamas on (she refuses to be clothed a lot of the time, and rips her clothes off seconds after you put them on her) and she agreed and let me put sweatpants and a pajama top on her. Then I gave her the applejuice and she layed down with her favorite blanky and calmed down. During this entire fiasco, I had been talking to Chunk on Yahoo, in a voice PM. I realized when I was dressing Hollie, that he had probably heard the entire escapade, because I had left it on hands free. I was mortified, and I wondered what kind of Mother he would think I was for yelling at a 3 year old. When I got back to my computer, I saw he had typed a message to me that was very sweet. He basically said he liked how I took a escalated situation and turned it into a peaceful one. My heart really melted. Yes, he had heard me yell, but he didn't judge my parenting based on that, but the situation as a whole. That's one thing I really love about him. He isn't closed minded, he will step back and take a look at the big picture in all things. He is a very peaceful person, and I truly believe he will be a very important asset in our family.

Onto a different topic. I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt that Chunk and I moved into an apartment complex near someone we chat with regularly. His apartment was only a few buildings away from ours and he was hanging out with us a lot. I dreamed that one day, Chunk had gone somewhere with my sister, and me and this guy were alone in the apartment together and ended up fooling around and eventually doing the dirty. Later, after this guy left, Chunk came back, and was being really mean and slamming stuff around (this should tell you how unrealistic my dream was haha) and I thought it was because the guy had found him and told him what we did. But it wasn't, when I asked what his problem was, he turned to me and said, " I F*ed her, that's what the problem is!!!". Her being a girl at his school i was jealous of. In my dream, I wasn't angry, becuase I was ashamed I had cheated on him too, and when I tried to tell him I wasn't mad, he just got frustrated and said he didn't want to get married anymore. So I left the apartment, and I came back in the middle of the night and no one was there. The apartment was trashed and there was a military bag on the floor I recognized as my ex husbands, and there were plates of half eaten nacho's everywhere. In the bedroom there were condoms and a bra on the bed. I don't know WHAT in sam hill was going on in my dream at this point, but it seemed to me, my ex husband had come and used our apartment as a party pad LOL!! The dream was stressful as heck, I woke up to the sound of my songbird son at 5 am all tense. We went back to bed for 3 more hours though, and that time I had a good dream. I don't remember it, but it was very soothing, and it involved Chunk also. It's gotta be hormones...they are making me all loopy lately. The awful dream was a very weird one, we were living in South Carolina for some reason, and I don't know why my sister, and my ex husband and this chatter were involved in at whatsoever. It was bizarre, I need that dream interpreter to help me again lol. I am repressing some inner fears or some nonsense, who knows. That's all for now folks, this was a marathon blog day.

Some of you may know this, but I have a dumb Poetry Blog and every now and then my pea brain produces something I actually like. I decided to share my latest with the reader's of my normal, and semi-sane blog. This is untitled still.


Running, she's running through forrest of green,
Eyes closed as she runs so nothing is seen.
Arms pumping wildly, legs going fast,
Silently wishing this feeling will last.
Running, she's running, she never wants to stop,
Flying free as a bird as she reaches the top,
Running full force until she comes to a halt,
Memories come back, like wounds filled with salt.
As her eyes well up, she peers over the edge,
Wondering if she'll really jump off of this ledge.
She slowly turns, with her back to the ravine,
Eyes closed as she thinks, so nothing is seen.
She starts to think of her many mistakes,
She knows that His love is all that it takes.
Running, she's running again through the wood,
Everything in her life is now understood.
At a time when she thought no one loved her at all,
He gave her the courage and she chose not to fall.

Ok, phew, so it turns out haloscan is performing maintenance. I am sooo relieved. Earlier, I went to haloscan and got a 404 message. Then I visited all of my daily blog reads and found they had no comments links either! I was panicking. So in my haste I went and got another chatterbox. I am going to leave it up though, since it is such a lovely shade of pink and matches my blog well :)
I chose this blog skin for someone who complained I didn't use up enough space on my page. Ya happy now??? This is the last sacrifice I am going to make for you, punk.
Ok, I just wanted to put something in here. My children are running around naked, I must go round them up.

Haloscan took a giant crap!!!! Nooooo!!! Whatever will I do??

So last night I was sitting at my computer talking to chunk, and the kids were asleep, and all of a sudden I hear this incredibly loud sound. It really scared me and it woke Hollie up. At first I thought a train had derailed behind my house or something, and I got up to look out the back window. I didn't see anything so I went out front and found all of my neighbors standing outside too trying to figure out what was going on. This morning I found out a factory in Illiopolis had exploded. I can't believe we heard it all the way here in Decatur. It was so loud, I would have never guessed it was way out in Illiopolis. Some people died in the blast and several are missing. I think it's so sad, and scary. You really never know when something will happen to someone you love. I can just imagine a wife seeing her husband off to work the night shift at a factory he's working at to make ends meet, and her not realizing that would be the last time she ever saw him.

I watched the movie "Radio" for the second time today. It makes me cry so much. I can't stand it when people are mistreated just because they are different. The movie also makes me cry from happiness. I can't tell you why, just go see it, it's a pretty durn good movie. I am having a very emotional, and sentimental kind of day. I am worried about my sister, and I've been reminiscing a lot. I am also daydreaming about the future. The future I will have when I marry the most awesome man on earth (or the most awesome man in his area-haha, inside joke). I decided to do another change on my blog. I hope everyone likes it. I only had a couple minutes to blog so I took advantage of it, and now that time is over. I will try to blog again once my little darlings are in bed. As for now, it's feeding time at the zoo. I love you all!!!

*Boring Entry*
Today was a pretty fun day. I spent a lot of time with my kids. Hollie and I made a little art project together. I was putting the finishing touches on Chunk's present, and Hollie wanted to make him something too, so I let her decorate a rock. It was a lot of fun. Earlier in the day we went and put Hollie's new toddler bed in the apartment. I am proud to say I carried that 'lil sucker up all those stairs myself. I am the worlds weeniest girl too. We drove around for awhile after that looking at all the pretty houses in the neighborhood I am moving into. We meaning Phyllis, the children and myself. Then we stopped at an estate sale looking for a couch. They'd had one for $10, and it was that cheap for a reason. It was soooo ugly. It was poop brown and it was really low to the ground. It reminded me of some military issue furniture we'd gotten in Germany, and also kind of like a really uncomfortable doctor's office waiting room couch. The cushions were flat as pancakes, and it reminded me more of a slab than a sofa. So the search continues.
I was off of my computer for most of the day. I even turned it off !! Chunk called me a little while ago. We had a really good conversation and it left me feeling really good.

My sister had surgery today. She is having some major problems with an IUD she had gotten last year. She and her husband were wanting to have another baby soon, so she went to have it removed and they couldn't because it had embedded itself into the wall of her uterus. So she had to go for an ultrasound yesterday, and it confirmed that it was dangerously embedded into her uterus. She had surgery today to remove it, no word yet on how that went. I am so worried that this will affect her fertility. She wants so badly to have another child, it would crush her if it were not possible. I am also very scared for myself, because I have the same IUD. I got it when I was married, and I never bothered to have it taken out because it wasn't hurting anybody and I also liked the fact that I don't have monthly visits from "friends" because of a hormone in the plastic. I've been reading the whole long list of side effects and warnings of using this particular IUD, and I am horrified. I guess before I got it, I never worried about it much, because my doctor had assured me the likelihood those things would happen was very very small. But now that my sister is living proof that those things DO happen, I am very worried. I want it out, and as soon as possible. I don't want my fertility to be affected in any way. The IUD my sister and I have is called Mirena. If any of you reading this are thinking about getting a Mirena, or any other type of device, I urge you to read the risks and side effects pamphlet in depth. My sister, just as I, trusted her doctor when he said she should have no problems. We blindly walked into getting it, because the sugar coatedness of it made it sound like the best thing. I also want to say, I have never had any problems with mine at all, and she did have some problems early on.
My poor sister, she is really having some bad luck this year, especially health-wise. My whole family is having a very unhealthy past couple of years.

I am grateful for:
Sisterhood,
Extended family,
Family prayer,
My health,
Compassion,
Infinite second chances,
Forgiveness,
The ability to forgive,
Bleeding hearts,
Breezy days.

Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day....

It's raining cats and dogs outside. It's downright cold too. I had to dig through my closet and bust out my pea coat I got for this past winter. I was actually secretly very happy it was cold enough for the pea coat, I spent far too little time prancing around in that coat this year. I love the pea coat. I don't feel like it was worth the money I spent on it, because again, I spent far too little time prancing around in it this year.

Last night I was worried about Chunk. He had gone to Colorado Springs (about an hour and a half away) to visit with my sister Carie and her family. He had said he planned on going down there right after class and that was at 1 pm I think, so naturally, when 1 am rolled around and I hadn't heard from him, I was flat out worried. Earlier in the evening, around 10 or 11, I started to wonder what had become of my little Chunkito. I busied myself with chatting, and eating candy, and making little crafts. I made him a present. I can't say what it is yet because he hasn't gotten it yet. Let's just say I made it very personalized, and I created it with my own 2 hands, along with some glue. HeHe. He's gonna love it. I want to send it to him before he comes out here so I had better get on the ball. Finally, after I made his present, it was around 1 am, and I was giving up waiting, because I was dead tired. So I left him an offline message and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, sure enough, he had some car troubles and his parents had to come all the way down there to tow him. He started having troubles in Monument, which isn't that far from The Springs, but Carie and Zeb don't have a phone so he couldn't have called them if he wanted to. He made it to Castle Rock, which is kinda halfway between Colorado Springs and Denver. I knew something was amiss. I am just thankful he's ok.

I had a job interview this morning at Startek, because Kroger is barely working me at all. The interview seemed to have gone really well. The gentlemen said they wouldn't be making a decision for a couple more weeks. Blah. I hate waiting to hear back about stuff like this. I think I will be hired, because I had an answer for all of his questions ( he gave me a couple toughies) and I tried to exhibit confidence. Plus I looked kinda cute, if that counts for anything hehe. I wore my suit I bought for speech tournaments. It's a black blazer and slacks with very light pink pinstripes. I wore a black blouse underneath and my retro pink medallion necklace. Everytime I wear a business suit I feel like my mom. All of my life she has worn blazers and slacks or skirts to work. I feel very grown up in a suit. The rain is slowing down a bit. This weather makes me feel sleepy. It must make my babies sleepy too, they are both napping. Naptime is one of my favorite parts of the day, although it's rare that I actually get a nap too.
I am grateful for:
Sleeping babies,
Modern medicine,
Springtime,
Fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth chances,
Moms and Grandma's,
Free will.

I am a SLAAAAACKER. Look at me coming back to this poor neglected blog for the first time since Saturday. Sheesh. I need a new blogskin. I just don't have the energy. I have been working on my little webpage for the last couple of days. I went and tried on my wedding dress yesterday with Erica. She took pictures of me in it. Since Chunk is not allowed to see it, you will have to ask me for the address to my secret blog where the pics will be posted after tonight.

I have a toothache. It's been going on for a couple of days now. It's not a cavity-like toothache (but what would I know? I've only had one), but more like a teeth-are-shifting toothache. It feels like when I had braces and they would crank those suckers tighter and my mouth would ache for a few days. I hope my teeth aren't moving even more back to how they were before the braces. Let me tell you a little story hehe...
When I was 14, I had 8 teeth pulled, 4 wisdom teeth, and 4 bicuspids. I have been cursed with the genes that produce large teeth, and also with the genes to have a small mouth to not be able to fit all of those ginormous teeth. So, 8 teeth out of my mouth, I almost had enough room for everything. I got braces, and they moved my teeth all around, blah blah whatever. When I was 15, I decided to move out. I went without orthodontic care until I was SEVENTEEN, when I started talking to this guy Sparky about how he got his braces off when he was homeless. He told me he took them off himself with a pair of needle nose pliers. I thought, well heck, I can do that. And so I did. Without proper orthodontic after-care, and a retainer, my teeth went back to almost how they were pre-braces. The awesome part is, the "fangs" I used to have never came back. What I mean is when I was younger, my teeth started growing in above the bicuspids that were already there. So I looked like I had fangs. When they pulled the bicuspids out, they pulled the freaky fang teeth down to where they had been. My top teeth have remained relatively straight, compared to what they looked like before anyway. I would be crushed if my top teeth went crooked, they already look scary enough. My bottom teeth went back pretty crooked. Anyways, the whole point of that was my HURTS!!!!

I'm pretty tired today despite going to bed at what I consider a decent hour. I am listening to some chill music right now, and it's making me want to crawl back into bed for a few hours. I think I am gonna end this with my list of things I am grateful for.....

I am grateful for:
feather pillows,
orthodontists,
the time to blog,
chill music,
fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth chances,
Tylenol,
The Holy Ghost.

Hey kids. Today was another long hot day, I realize I am complaining about the heat a lot. I lived in Alaska for years, gimme a break, I'm roasting here.
For those who don't frequent the Wedding Blog, I dyed my hair today. It's dark, and there are no more stripes so don't be shocked when you see me, I warned ya.
Today there was a surprise party for our dear Mikey Hagan, and I am bummed I didn't get to go. I was gonna bring Pocky too. Between my hair dying escapade and children it just was not possible. I was thinking about ya Mike!
I bought the yummiest strawberries this afternoon, and they will be dipped in chocolate promptly after church tomorrow. I get out of church at 3, and I promised Hollie she could help me dip them. It should be a lot of fun. She is being a really big girl now, and she loves to help do stuff like that. She tries to wash the dishes all the time too, it's really cute.
That's all..I am really tired and I just don't have the will to type anything extensive tonight.
I am grateful for:
Strawberries
Baby wipes,
Baby's first words,
Sibling love,
Music,
Air conditioners,
Having shelter,
Fleece,
Cotton pajamas,
Unconditional love,
Tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth chances,
Cinnamon.
I love you all.

Forkin' A..I need to get my blogging act together. I want to do an overhaul on my blog skin again soon, since *some* person keeps complaining that it looks like easter eggs threw up all over my blog. I found my wedding dress!! Please refer to my Wedding Blog for further details on that.
So, today was long, and semi-boring. The kids were grand. The weather was stinkin' hot for April. I am terrified of the summer coming, today was a small preview to that. My car felt like it was a thousand degrees and the steering wheel burned my hands!! Ickypoo. I do NOT miss Arizona.
My printer craped out on me. I am freaking out because I need to print off my wedding invitations. I will start shopping around for a new printer tomorrow.
Ok kids, that's all for tonight, i am dead tired. Heat exhuastion ya know? ;)

I cannot believe I've slacked off in my blogging. *hangs head in shame* I promise to do better. I have been busy trying to move into the apartment, dealing with school, kids, crappy work, and ex-in-laws. School has been going pretty good. I feel like I am accomplishing something finally.
***WARNING!!!!! LONG story***
So yesterday after class I pop into the library to BS with Hagan and Erica, and while I am there Ethan comes in with his girlfriend Megan. Let me just recap who Ethan is, for those who haven't read this blog all the way back to it's inception. Ethan was a guy who was in my Reader's Theatre class. He and I quickly became friends and started hanging out a lot. I can honestly say he was one of the best friends I ever had in my entire life, the kind of person you can call at 4 am to cry to (which we frequently did to one another!), the kind of person you can bare your soul too and not be afraid of being judged. He inspired me to do a lot of things better in my life and I really looked up to him a lot. Ethan started dating this girl named Megan. This was the beginning of the end of our friendship. She would come into rehearsal a lot pissed off at him for one reason or another, and demand he go out in the hall to talk to her. Everytime she'd show up, he would come back depressed, pissed off, and unwilling to put any effort into anything anymore. In fact, everytime she was around I noticed a huge change in him, and so did other people. We talked about it alot, and he would always agree with me, that he knew something just wasn't right, and he just wanted someone to love him. That made my heart tear in two, because *I* loved him, and he didn't care. He was hooked on this Megan girl, because she fulfilled needs for him that I couldn't. I didn't want to get into a relationship with him, he was my best friend. And he didn't want a relationship with me, because I have kids. Our stars were just not aligned. Megan started having problems with a medical condition, and had some surgeries. This is when things started to get really hairy between us, because now if I mentioned he had a bad attitude after being with her, he would get upset with me, and tell me "You just don't know her like I do", and things like that. Over Christmas break, we emailed one another, but really didn't hang out a whole lot. I went with him to get a tattoo finished, and it was fun, we spent several hours together. And then there would be long breaks between when I'd even get a phone call, or an email from him. One day out of the blue he asked if I wanted to go to a book store with him, and go with him to do his laundry. I was so excited, because I really missed him a lot. Megan was at work or something. So I drove over to his house, and he took me around in Megan's van to the Laundromat and stuff. We talked a lot. I felt like finally our friendship was getting back on track. A few days after that, I get a phone call from Ethan at 3 in the morning. He was upset, he and Megan had been in a little tiff, and part of it was about me. She was getting jealous of him hanging out with me, and saying things to him like , "you would date her if she didn't have kids, I know you would." He was stressing big time, and he asked me to come over. So I dropped everything and went. When I got to the door I saw his hair. It really freaked me out. A long time before, I had dyed 4 blond stripes down his head, so he kinda looked like Rufio from "Hook". (we were doing a peter pan reader's theatre) Anyways, he had decided to shave his head down to bare skin, leaving only the 4 stripes, so he basically had 4 mohawks on his head. It was freaky. We sat in his dining room, it was very quiet. We just sat and spoke softly to one another. We talked about the beautiful decorations on the wall his stepmother Cathy had made before she died. We talked about the lock of her hair that was framed on the mantle. We talked about life, love, happiness, our goals. It was very peaceful. That was the last time I really ever talked to Ethan. He started ignoring me promptly after that. We had 2 classes together, and I would see him almost every single day, yet we never spoke, and now, when we pass in the halls, we don't even look at eachother.
Ok, now that I'm done writing that novel, I will tell you about Megan yesterday. I was leaving the school building and I had my headphones on, but I thought I heard someone calling me. I turned around and it was Megan.
She said, "What's going on between you and Ethan?"
"Absolutely nothing at all.", I replied.
" I heard from Mike A. that you and Ethan were getting it on at your house at 3 am or something.", She provoked.
"No, that's not true, Nothing EVER happened between me and Ethan sexually. We never even kissed.", I shot back.
"Well that's not what I heard, and when I asked Ethan about it he got really mad at me, and now there is all this funky tension between us."
"I'm sorry, but that's just bullshit, we never did anything. We were just really good friends."
"Well I heard you hated me."
"I can't hate you, I don't even know you. I do dislike you though, and I think Ethan is arrogant"
"Ethan knows he's arrogant"
"Well good. I didn't sleep with him. But you can tell him I DID tell Mike A. I think he's arrogant, and I'm mad at him"
And blah blah blah, more uninteresting conversation. She was just being nosey, and trying to pick apart what kind of relationship Ethan and I really had, because he didn't really ever discuss it with her, and he gets mad when she brings it up. I got counseling for anger a awhile ago. It was a dang good thing too, because 2 years ago I would have punched that little hoser when she first starting biting at me. This time, I calmly explained the facts, Kept my composure and walked away. Yay me. For those of you who were bugging me for an update, there ya go. I am sure you got more than you asked for, hehe.

EmuHunter82: so you're away, then you're not away, then you're away again, and then you're not...make up your mind

Auto response from TheFaerieTanzle: Working on a powerpoint thingie...yahoo me:-)

EmuHunter82: no i will not yahoo you
EmuHunter82: you will just have to get back on aim
TheFaerieTanzle: what..too good for yahoo???
EmuHunter82: yeup
TheFaerieTanzle: punkass
EmuHunter82: dickweed.
TheFaerieTanzle: you can't steal my word.
TheFaerieTanzle: Dillhole
EmuHunter82: bah
EmuHunter82: you can't own a word
EmuHunter82: just wait until i see the sandlot, and then i'm gonna do that 'killin me' thing
EmuHunter82: you're ignoring me again
EmuHunter82: snob
TheFaerieTanzle: I had to go take cookies out of the oven
TheFaerieTanzle: Dillhole
TheFaerieTanzle: you're killin' me smalls
EmuHunter82: yeah
EmuHunter82: that's the thing
EmuHunter82: that's mine now.
EmuHunter82: i keep it.
TheFaerieTanzle: Oh bullhonkey!
TheFaerieTanzle: you can have dickweed, but I am keeping my sandlot line
EmuHunter82: too late
TheFaerieTanzle: no!!!
EmuHunter82: i don't see a copyright
TheFaerieTanzle: I am going to sue you
TheFaerieTanzle: Oh who's ignoring who now Biatch? You IM'd ME...and don't you forget it!!
EmuHunter82: sorry, i was listening to toadie.
EmuHunter82: singular
EmuHunter82: one of them
EmuHunter82: Mega Hoser
TheFaerieTanzle: Toadie...is that your new nickname?
TheFaerieTanzle: you big fat frog!!!
EmuHunter82: .....it's better than dickweed, i guess
TheFaerieTanzle: ok Toad boy
TheFaerieTanzle: If you can get a girl to kiss you...you *might* turn into a prince
TheFaerieTanzle: ...but I don't see that happening soon
TheFaerieTanzle: OOOoooo Diss

I went to church yesterday. I know, no biggie right? Everyone and their brother goes to church on Easter. I think I am gonna keep going this time. It felt really good to be back, and the best thing is, no one shunned me or acted weird towards me because I haven't been going in 9 months. They took me back with open arms, and I already have a bridal shower in the works thanks to the gossiping old biddies in my ward. They were awesome. I had no plans for Easter other than, go to church, and go home. I was just going to feed the kids whatever I would normally feed them. That's the sucky part about not living near any family at all. Having no one to share holidays with really sucks. But whyile I was at church, I saw my visiting teacher Cheryl, and she and I were chatting up a storm. Then she asked me if I wanted to bring the kids over for Easter dinner. So we went, and had a really good time. Cheryl's son is exactly a month older than Hollie, so they love the chance to get to play with one another. There was also another family at Cheryl's house, and I knew the wife really well. We got to talking about wedding stuff, and she volunteered to help with all kinds of stuff. She is so awesome. She makes all of her children's clothes, and she offered to make Hollie's flower girl dress. I just have to pay for materials. I like Barb a lot, because she is one of the only people in the ward close to my age bracket. Everyone else is old. When I say old, I don't mean, like 60. I mean like, 90, 100ish. OLD OLD OLD. And the ward is very small here. There are only 3 young women. All the kids are off on their missions. I think we have 5 or 6 people from our ward out on missions right now. That's where everyone my age went, dangit. Having small church ward can be good and bad. It is awful when it comes to gossip. It is good when it comes to being a close knit family. I told one person at the very beginning of Sacrament that I was getting amried, and by th time Relief Society rolled around, the entire ward knew. It was kind of funny. I had wanted to tell them anyways, and it was very effective to tell the worst gossiping old biddy in the building. Ok, there are going to be a bunch of people who read this blog and won't have a clue what all this mormon jargon means. Let me try to break it down a bit.

Ward- no, not where crazy people go, it is a congregation, if you will. A group of people living in the same area who go to church together. There may be more than one ward in a town, and it split up based on where people live. Each ward has it's own bishop and all that good stuff.
Visiting Teachers- two women who have the responsibility of meeting with around 3 female members of the church each month. They come and visit with you and share a message with you and your family.
Sacrament Meeting- This is really sort of the equivalent to communion. The sacrament (or communion as some church's call it) is passed around and there are talks given.
Talks- Instead of having a pastor or preacher teaching the lessons during church service, the actual members give them. Talks are assigned to people in advance and you are goven a topic to speak on from anywhere between 10-20 minutes. I have given a talk before. It is really awesome, and you learn more studying for the talk than you would actually listening to one.
Relief Society-Relief Society is the auxiliary of the church created for women. It is now one of the oldest women’s organizations in existence and has been doing extraordinary things for more than 150 years.
I got that from an AWESOME website about it Relief Society
Any other questions about this stuff can either be directed towards me, or you can go to Mormon.org
I didn't mean to turn this blog entry into a churchy thang, but I felt compelled to do so. Hope you atheist blog reader's out there aren't offended.

I had the weirdest dream last night, and it has been bugging me all day. Usually I forget what they were about before I even get to the bathrom for my first mornings urinary void. This one was freaky, and I woke feeling all stressed out. So here it is, tell me what you guys think is wrong with me.

I was driving down this street looking for a church to have our wedding at, and I ran into a street that turned into the country club. So I pull into the parking lot of this castle like church, and turned around to drive back down a residential street. I saw all these kids playing outside. There were adult sized coats and purses and things in every yard and it was really quiet. All the kids were playing silently and there were no parents in sight. I got out of my car and started walking down the street and all the kids stopped and were staring at me. I asked a little girl why all the coats and purses and stuff were in the street and she told me that early early in the morning, all the adults had gone crazy and all got their coats and purses on and ran into the street. She said they were all dancing and having sex with eachother out in the road, and than all of a sudden, all of them were gone. All of their coats and purses and things were left behind and the kids put them in the yard. I grabbed as many kids as I could and walked them back to my house and I set up sleeping bags and pillows for them in the living room. The kids were acting really traumatized, just sitting quietly and staring. This was the most strange dream I've had in a long time.

Brian: well its there
Me: Than you brian, I will never pester you again in any way other than blog comments
Brian: sure you wont
Me: I won't I promise..and since you hate me so much, I shall take your name off my AIM list
Me: *cries*
Brian: hahahha
Brian: i dont hate you
Brian: i just wish bad things would happen to you


I REALLY need to quit bugging people about their blogging. It get's feathers all ruffled, panties into bunches and such. I am making enemies where I was once making friends. This proves, blogging is EVIL!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: Kelly's Septic and sewer services
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can: couch
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?: STrawberry Shortcake Movie
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 1:15
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 1:18 WHOO HOO!!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: My baby snoring
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: took out the trash
8. What are you wearing?: pink shirt, with retro pink medallion, and black sweatpants
9. Did you dream last night? Of course I did, but I can't remember it.
10. When did you last laugh? When I saw erica spell goddess "Godes"
11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?: pictures of my babies and my ex husband
12. Seen anything weird lately?: Myself
13. What do you think of this quiz?: I would call this more of a survey....
14. What is the last film you saw? Secret Window
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: a huge house, and a damn dishwasher
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I crochet
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: Free healthcare for everyone
18. Do you like to dance?: YES! Especially naked with a hairbrush microphone
19. George Bush: Yep, that's our president
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Umm, she was a girl. Her name is Hollie
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Well my seciond child was a boy, we named him Charley, but if Hollie had been a boy, she woulda been Tobias.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? YES! I lived in Germany and I miss it dearly.
23. Will you pass on this survey?: I am certian someone will steal it, as I have stolen it.

Today I had kind of a crappy day at school. Our speech coach doesn't think we put forth enough effort this semester. I was really offended at that because I feel like I DID work hard at this, and it was my first semester ever doing it, so I think I did damn good with what little direction I had. I worked so hard on one piece, my stupid POI, that I made myself sick over it. I was seriously stressing out all semester over speech stuff, and for her to say we didn't do shit really torqued me. What a way to encourage to do better, yeah, telling us we suck REALLY makes us want to try harder. I am so glad our school gives us a credit for doing speech team, because I can't honestly say I would do it for nothing. It was a lot of work, a lot of time and energy, and a lot of time taken away from my kids. But from her perspective, we sat around and did nothing. Because we didn't win trophies, that's why. I personally don't feel like I even had enough instruction to begin with, I was just kind of learning as I went. I was happy with most of my pieces, I think for a shot in the dark, they were great. To make things worse, I had to leave in the middle of her speech 101 class. I am sure she is pissed at me for that little stunt.

Today I took my car in to get the brake pads replaced. I left it there and dude called back an hour or so later to tell me I needed this, that, and the other replaced. GAH. It is costing me just under $300. I will be happy though, the car won't make a grinding metal-on-metal noise everytime my foot touches the brake pedal anymore. It's an old car, but it's a really good car. It os dependable and has never been mean to me, Till now anyways. It's an '89 Nissan Sentra. A little silver beer can on wheels, but I really like it.

Thanks to miss Sandra I was able to configure my comments to be all nifty-like. After fighting with it for about 10 minutes..I realized I had configured them to the wrong blog entirely! SO I am going to try to fix that, Peace out, yo.

I didn't get a chance to dye my hair last night, so RCC expect NOT to see a new Kelie just yet. I have to tend my herd..will post later.

I worked all morning and then went to school. I got home about 7:30, an hour later than I usually do, because Erica and I went to Hobby Lobby and Wal-mart to get a few things. When I went to pick up my kids from next door, everyone seemed to be in a really good mood, and the kids were happy to see me. So I stayed over there and chit chatted for a couple minutes and then took the children home. About 2 minutes after I had been home, my ex-mother-in-law came to my door and gave me a lecture about calling when I am going to be late. She made up some lie that she was having a surprise dinner for Phyllis tonight and I ruined it. I know this is a lie, because I usually don't get home till 6:30, and Phyllis always eats around 5. She doesn't like to go out that late and when I was over there she seemed like she was getting ready for bed. Also, Mondays and Wednesdays are my nighst when I get home late, the other days I get home from school at 2:30, so WHY on earth would she pick Monday to surprise her mother with taking her out to dinner. Basically, she was just trying to pick a fight. I had already apologized when I was over there for being late and they said it was ok. She just wanted to come over here and get in my face to try to get me to bite back. I didn't, I simply apologized AGAIN and told her next time I was going to be late I would call. I need to find a new babysitter ASAP, these people are nuts.

Work went really well. It was my first day on the registers, but I've worked a cash register a million times before so it wadn't no big thang. I just checked people out all day. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, put money in the register, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, put money in the register. It's not a hard job at all. It can get stressful for 2 reasons,

1.) Your feet hurt like a motha after a couple hours of standing there,
and,
2.) Bitchy customers.
I served mostly the elderly, which I thought was so fun. Old people are either extremely anal retentive, or really chatty. I like to kill the mean ones with kindness and watch them squirm. The chatty ones I just really enjoy, I could sit and talk to an old man or woman all day. The old people in this neighborhood think they are high society and want you to wait on them hand and foot. Such is the life of a customer service employee.

I made a blog for Erica today. I think she is feeling left out. You can see her little blog doohickey by visiting this page
There is nothing in it yet but what I put there.
For those of you who see me at school, prepare to see a different Kelie. I've decided to dye my hair. I shall not divulge what color just yet...gotta surprise Chunk.
That's it for today Kiddos.
I am grateful for:
creativity,
the drive to succeed,
sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth chances,
Revlon,
Great Value products,
Bottled water,
Do-it-yourself books,
My fertility.

***********I just want to apologize in advance for the use of foul language in this next entry!***************
I was going to paste just a portion of this, but I find the whole thing pretty darn amusing. The part in bold is the part I had originally planned to post.


EmuHunter82: your blog looks like an easter bunnys wet dream
TheFaerieTanzle: don't fuck with me hagan, i'm not in the mood
EmuHunter82: um.....ok
TheFaerieTanzle: I need MEAT
TheFaerieTanzle: i need real food
TheFaerieTanzle: i need steak n shake
TheFaerieTanzle: *cries*
EmuHunter82: roadhouse
TheFaerieTanzle: nah
TheFaerieTanzle: not roadhouse
EmuHunter82: so why don't you eat meat
TheFaerieTanzle: i need a greasy steakburger with cheese fries and a banana milkshake with a shot of hot fudge
TheFaerieTanzle: i dont eat meat because i am trying to lose weight
TheFaerieTanzle: and it is working
TheFaerieTanzle: i am down one size
EmuHunter82: good job
TheFaerieTanzle: but i am in a bad mood becuase my mother is pissing me off..and i would normally run to steak n shake
TheFaerieTanzle: but i have my kids tonight
TheFaerieTanzle: and i have to work in the morning
TheFaerieTanzle: so i am taking it out on EVERYONE>:o
EmuHunter82: yeah this definitely was the wrong time to fuck you wasn't it
TheFaerieTanzle: i was unaware you were fucking me, but thanks. i needed that
EmuHunter82: hahahaha, yeah, sorry
EmuHunter82: i'll let you know next time
EmuHunter82: iiiiiiii'm a moron
TheFaerieTanzle: kind snuck up on me there boy
TheFaerieTanzle: i was like WHOA nelly



....uhh, yeah.

I worked today, it was rather loverly to be honest. I am feeling ultra spiritual today. I came home from work and popped in my "Christian mix" CD and have been jamming out with my kids in the living room. There is this one song in particular that always gets me. It's a FIF song and I know all of you will either, A) Not know who the heck they are or B) Make fun of me for liking them. It's called Dandelions and it makes me cry every single time I hear it. For the last 5 years, everytime this stupid song is played around me, it makes me cry like a little baby. I just thought I would share the lyrics of this song. I know, it's kind of lame when people just post lyrics, but kindly read these all the way through, they mean a lot to me.

Dandelions
by Five Iron Frenzy

In a field of yellow flowers,
underneath the sun,
bluest eyes that spark with lightning,
boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,
reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,
right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright,
while cradling his prize.
A flickering of yellow light,
within his mother's eyes.
She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,
clasped within her very marrow,
dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.

Fathomless your endless mercy,
weight I could not lift.
Where do I fit in this puzzle,
what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,
scarcely can I struggle through.
All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.

Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,
a Father sings over his children,
loving them so very much.
More than words could warrant,
deeper than the darkest blue,
more than sacrifice could merit,
Lord, I give my heart to you.

I am grateful for:
Dandelions ( I got one from Hollie today *tear*)
Siblings,
Second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth chances,
Unconditional love,
My talents,
fake flowers,
The innocence of my children's prayers,
Old Navy's incredible sale they had going on today.

I decided to get with the program. I wanted a fancy blog, so gosh durn it, I went out and got one.
Today has been a little hectic, but not bad. The kids are being unusually hyper. They got into the bread and proceeded to eat about half of the loaf. They were supposed to be sitting in their seats eating breakfast, but Hollie being the skilled climber that she is, shimmied out of hers, climbed onto the counter and stole the bread. The only reason I thought something was amuck was the fact that I heard Hollie proclaiming , "MMMMM, Oh it is so good!" in a very dramatic manner, and she normally doesn't say that about food. Ever. The child has failure to thrive syndrome, she's a skinny rail, she NEVER says how good food is, because she eats like a little bird. Call it a woman's intuition, or maternal instinct or what have you, but I can usually tell when one of my children is committing a 'crime'.

Last night, I got to see my ring. *GASP* that's all I am allowed to say on this blog, but if you would like to read more about it, I would like to refer you to my Wedding Blog for the full story. I am missing Chunk terribly. Thank goodness for webcams and voice chat.

I decided after yesterday's entry, that blogging about what I eat is in fact, a horrible idea afterall. I don't like it, because I already cheated. I had a bag of zesty popcorn and a four cheese hot pocket yesterday, AFTER I had my barbecue chik'n sandwich. I am a friggin' cow. I just have this insatiable love for food. My parents say I've always been like this. As a child I would eat anything, I wasn't picky at all. I can remember eating jalapenos when I was little and loving them. I can only think of less than a handful of things I don't like. I don't like mushrooms, although if they are mixed in with something they are OK. I really don't like Lima beans or garbanzo beans, but I could eat them without gagging if I had to. That's about it for the foods I don't like. Everything else is fair game. I loooooove buffets (hint hint). I can keep up with the best of 'em. I am not sure if that's something to be proud of.....

We're watching the Care Bears movie for the millionth time this week. I kinda like it, I can't be hatin'. For Hollie's 3rd birthday, Chunk sent her this giant Funshine Carebear. Everytime we watch this movie she asks where Chunk is. It's so sweet. She loves the Carebears and Strawberry Shortcake, which is kind of odd, because those were my two fav's when i was her age. They are timeless I tell you. That's all for now kiddies.
I am grateful for,
webcams,
stuffed animals,
childhood mischief,
blog templates,
sunshine,
herbal tea,
jalapenos,
8 tracks and records,
dolphin tongue drums,
answered prayers.
........I really love all of you.

Ya know, my friend Karin gave me a really good idea today. I am trying to eat healthy and all that stuff, and sometimes I fudge on my diet, like last night when I ate an entire ghirardeli caramel chocolate bar when I swore to myself at the time of purchase that I would only one a third of it. So I think I am going to start keeping a food log. On this very blog. That way, I have a way to keep track of what I am doing, and also the accountability. If the world knows what I am eating, I am more likely to pick healthier things, or die of embarrassment. So...This is what I have eaten today so far...

A glass of chocolate soymilk
A bite of Hollie's Disney Princess cereal
Meatless sweet and sour pork, made by the gardenburger brand.
...I already know what I am eating for dinner so I may as well put it here too,
Barbecue meatless chik'n on two slices of wheat bread.

And there we have it. Today has been a long day and it's not even noon yet. The kids have been read to, washed, played with, and are now eating lunch before they go down for their long afternoon naps. I am really loving all of the 'look-alike' meat products out there. Some of them taste just like the real thing. That makes KeKe very happy, since KeKe likes to crave the meat. Why KeKe is referring to herself in the third person AND by her nickname is unclear.

Today is the day I was supposed to go try on wedding dresses, but that fell through. That's all I've got to say about that since I promised not to get all mushy on this blog. My Wedding Blog is where you can find all of that stuff. I really want to see the 3rd LOTR movie. I am chomping at the bit. I didn't even see the first 2 until February, that's how out of it I am. I instantly loved both of them, and yes, I realize that also instantly makes me a nerd. I embrace my nerdiness, it's who I've always been, even though I desperately tried NOT to be one in high school. It's all good, because I have nerdy friends, and a nerdy family, and I am marrying a nerdy guy. Nerds of the world unite. Talk nerdy to me baby.

Ok I think I am done for today, here is my list of things I am grateful for, not listed in order of importance...
Meatless food products,
Wal-mart,
Kodak moments,
blogs,
having some degree of patience,
second chances,
strollers,
Flip flops,
fresh air.

I bid you farewell.

I stole this from Mike, who I am certain stole it from somebody else.

I am not: a crook
I love: chunk!
I hate: being snubbed
I fear: Becoming a failure
I hope: To live long and prosper
I hear: Running water..Oh crap where are my kids?
I crave: MEAT!!! Stupid diet *sobs*
I regret: Dropping math 091 for the second time
I cry: at least twice a week
I care: About a lot of things, and a lot of people, too many to mention
I always: Drop my purse by the door when I get home
I believe: in a thing called love....Just listen to the rhythm of mah heart
I feel alone: When my kids aren't here
I listen: To a lot of bullhonky stories in chatrooms
I hide: my true feelings from my friends
I drive: an '89 Nissan Sentra
I sing: In the shower, when I'm cooking, in the car. Yes I am one of those goofy people who rocks out in the car that you stare at when stopped at a red light.
I dance: In the shower, when I'm cooking, I TRY to in the car but it comes off as looking odd...
I write: in my blog a lot. In My many many blogs.
I play: The Flute and Soprano Sax. Or this question could refer to games as well, in that case, America's Army.
I miss: being a young teenager with no responsibilities.
I search: for different flavors of Pocky online.
I learn: to be a better person everyday
I feel: like I have a cold coming on
I know: my Redeemer lives.
I say: what I feel, sometimes it's harsh
I succeed: when I apply myself and focus
I dream: some really freaking crazy dreams, though never in color, or red for that matter. Mike H is a freak.
I wonder: how many licks it *really* takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
I want: it ALL
I have: an awesome pair of children.
I give: and take
I fell: head over heels for chunk.
I fight: dirty
I need: a few thousand dollars
I laugh: when I am around my friends, especially the speechers

Well that was a pleasant waste of a couple of minutes. My kids really were playing in the kitchen sink, happily throwing water everywhere. I just let them have their little water-fest and cleaned it up. You only live once eh?

So, I talked with The Prick With NO Sense of Humor last night and he is actually an OK guy. He's over our little 'communication error' I think.

Anyways, today has been...interesting. Hollie somehow got into the bathroom, even though I am SO sure I closed the door firmly (she can't turn knobs yet) and got into all of my makeup. She even put some on her brother. So my children are a lively shade of "Bye Bye Brown" lipstick today. That stuff is so hard to get off.

I made a seperate blog for all of my mushy gushy wedding stuff. If anyone wants it get ahold of me via my chatterbox or the comments and I will be happy to link you, if you feel like being sickened to tears.

I have nothing else to say. I have class today, and a few errands after. Life's a peach.
Catch all you cats lata.