I couldn't blog yesterday because my internet connection wasn't cooperating. I could sign into Yahoo! and AIM but I couldn't get onto any internet websites, or my email or anything until really late last night, but by that time all I wanted to do was talk to Chunk. So, there, I've an excuse for my slacking this time :-p
*Very Long Parenting Story*
Yesterday I had a pretty good day, nothing too terribly important happened. My daughter and I had a showdown last night, a power struggle if you will. She was refusing to go use the potty at first. She had done well all day and not wet herself once, and she even took herself to the potty without needing any help 3 times. After Charley had gone to bed, she started acting up for some reason. I asked her if she needed to go potty and she said very defiantly, "NO Mommy!". I checked her panties and she wasn't wet so I let it slide. I put on her favorite movie and she was very content in watching it. After a few minutes, I looked back and she was naked. I told her to put her panties and shirt back on and she screamed no again and ran and hid. I knew instantly it was because she had wet herself. So I asked her if she needed to go potty, and she of course, said no, and I asked her if it was because she already pottied in her panties and she nodded, and looked rather sheepish. We went to the bathroom and cleaned up, and I sat her on the toilet, and she actually did go pee pee a little so I praised her and put clean panties on her and let her go watch the rest of her movie. Some time later she started her demanding-a-drink-of-everything routine, and I told her that is not how she should speak to her mother, and if she wants something she needs to ask nicely. She asked for chocolate milk, and said please, so I gave her some. Not even 2 minutes later she was screaming at the top of her lungs for applejuice. I told her she could not have applejuice, because she had asked for chocolate milk and that would be wasting it. I looked around and didn't see her cup of chocolate milk anywhere. This was when I lost my cool. As a sidenote, in Illinois, we have a major ant problem. Any minute speck or crumb, or droplet of anything sweet causes them to flock by the millions to my living room. So naturally, when the kids spill stuff on the floor, I freak. And Hollie really does know better. When I couldn't find her chocolate milk cup, I was envisioning it sitting upside down somewhere slowly leaking syrupy chocolate milk all over the floor and a bazillion ants swarming it. So, I admit it, I yelled at her. I yelled at my daughter, giving her ammo to yell back at me, If Mommy is yelling than it must be ok, right? I snatched Hollie up and sat her in the loathed time out chair. She was crying so pitifully. I caught myself and realized I wasn't handling this situation in the most mature way I could. And, I felt horrible for yelling at her. I let her sit her 3 minutes in time out, and then asked her to come talk to me. I sat her on my lap and explained to her about the ants, and the cup etc. We said our sorries to eachother, hugged, and kissed. She found the cup, which luckily had been upright hiding behind the television, and politely asked for applejuice instead of milk. I allowed her to have applejuice, on the condition she let me put her pajamas on (she refuses to be clothed a lot of the time, and rips her clothes off seconds after you put them on her) and she agreed and let me put sweatpants and a pajama top on her. Then I gave her the applejuice and she layed down with her favorite blanky and calmed down. During this entire fiasco, I had been talking to Chunk on Yahoo, in a voice PM. I realized when I was dressing Hollie, that he had probably heard the entire escapade, because I had left it on hands free. I was mortified, and I wondered what kind of Mother he would think I was for yelling at a 3 year old. When I got back to my computer, I saw he had typed a message to me that was very sweet. He basically said he liked how I took a escalated situation and turned it into a peaceful one. My heart really melted. Yes, he had heard me yell, but he didn't judge my parenting based on that, but the situation as a whole. That's one thing I really love about him. He isn't closed minded, he will step back and take a look at the big picture in all things. He is a very peaceful person, and I truly believe he will be a very important asset in our family.

Onto a different topic. I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt that Chunk and I moved into an apartment complex near someone we chat with regularly. His apartment was only a few buildings away from ours and he was hanging out with us a lot. I dreamed that one day, Chunk had gone somewhere with my sister, and me and this guy were alone in the apartment together and ended up fooling around and eventually doing the dirty. Later, after this guy left, Chunk came back, and was being really mean and slamming stuff around (this should tell you how unrealistic my dream was haha) and I thought it was because the guy had found him and told him what we did. But it wasn't, when I asked what his problem was, he turned to me and said, " I F*ed her, that's what the problem is!!!". Her being a girl at his school i was jealous of. In my dream, I wasn't angry, becuase I was ashamed I had cheated on him too, and when I tried to tell him I wasn't mad, he just got frustrated and said he didn't want to get married anymore. So I left the apartment, and I came back in the middle of the night and no one was there. The apartment was trashed and there was a military bag on the floor I recognized as my ex husbands, and there were plates of half eaten nacho's everywhere. In the bedroom there were condoms and a bra on the bed. I don't know WHAT in sam hill was going on in my dream at this point, but it seemed to me, my ex husband had come and used our apartment as a party pad LOL!! The dream was stressful as heck, I woke up to the sound of my songbird son at 5 am all tense. We went back to bed for 3 more hours though, and that time I had a good dream. I don't remember it, but it was very soothing, and it involved Chunk also. It's gotta be hormones...they are making me all loopy lately. The awful dream was a very weird one, we were living in South Carolina for some reason, and I don't know why my sister, and my ex husband and this chatter were involved in at whatsoever. It was bizarre, I need that dream interpreter to help me again lol. I am repressing some inner fears or some nonsense, who knows. That's all for now folks, this was a marathon blog day.