I had fully intended to go to sacrament meeting this morning, but because I had stayed up all night working on a poster, my alarm clock could not even arouse me. I woke up over an hour after it had been squalling away. I ripped my favorite pair of pajama pants this morning, my fat butt is bursting at the seams now, literally. After this mono is fully gone I am going to go back on my health-craze. I have not had the energy to cook in almost 4 weeks, so all I have been buying are ready-to-eat, and microwaveable foods. It's great, no energy wasted, no dishes, no energy wasted on washing dishes. I am in heaven. When the kids are back over here though I will need to jump back into Susie Homemaker mode once again. I feel zapped. Time to go back to bed.

Today was a great day. At 9 am Sam (teacher) came to pick me up and I had fallen back asleep while waiting, so I made us a tad late. We drove to Springfield to the college radio station to talk about our performance and stuff. There was a lady there who does colored pencil art and she also makes these incredible horse heads. It was like a giant my little pony, only much more realistic. I expected it to whinny at me at any moment. So we read some poetry from our thinger and I felt that I did not do such a great job. One, I was very very nervous, Two, I thought my own voice sounded stupid on the headphones. So that was that. After we were done Sam (not teacher) told us about a place that has free samples of seafood. I was all about it, because anything free is swell in my book. It was way more awesome than I had expected. The food was something like you would find at a nice restaurant. They had yummy sushi, and the California rolls were to die for. That is now my new favorite place to buy seafood. One of these days I am gonna go over there and buy them out of California rolls and indulge myself. The fish was amazing, I have never seen anything so fresh from the sea in Illinois. It was a good first portion of the day. When I got home I took a short nap and then gathered my cojones and went next door. Again, I was treated as if I did not exist, but I was not there to see him, I was there to let my son open his belated birthday gifts. I had been waiting to have his birthday party until his father got to town, but had I known things would be this bad, I just would have had his party when I wanted to. I am so sick of doing things to please others, I am going to start being selfish and doing the things I want for a change. Especially school. I know nursing is not for me, so I am not going to play the charade any longer. I will end this before I leap on my soapbox.

This is a catch up entry. Dinner at Andrea's was OK, not great, not horrible, but mediocre. Charley blathered on all night trying to make me jealous while at the same time pretending I did not exist. I swear, when that man looks at me, he looks right through me. It is very creepy, but I do not object because I don't particularly care to acknowledge his existence either. Bubba cried all night long, he didn't want to be there, he just wanted to be home in his own bed. Molley is beginning to look like she is pregnant, the darn skinny thing. Her husband seemed nice, though he never really said two words to me. Andrea looked pregnant as ever, as of she were carrying a load of bricks in her belly. The girls played like midget ruffians as usual. There were not any of the usual battle wounds today, they seemed to know that Thanksgiving is special and they were not to inflict pain on one another. That's all I've got to say, spending all that time with *his* relatives wore me out. I feel a mono resurgence coming on.

A very merry Un-Turkey Day for me. I am sitting here on the internet when I should be out with family. It kind of sucks but in a way it is a welcome kind of lonliness. The children are with their father and they need this time. I need this time too, I need to regroup and think about my life, painful as it may be. I have some major decisions to be making. Dad and Lynn broke up for real this time. He moved in with his friend from work. I was pretty shocked and sad when I found out. I bought eggnog, this is the highlight of my week. I am so very excited about going to Springfield on Saturday with Sam, we're going to be doing something on the radio. And December 3rd is when I go to Springfield again, this time with the rest of my class. We will be performing part of our theatre. It's at a coffee shop called IMO's, and from the sounds of it, it seems like my kind of place to hang out. I am excited also that I am making new friends here, something I never dreamed would happen. I met two guys from my ward, they are so nice. We have all promised to get eachother to church more often. All 3 of us have been inactive for a year. It's kind of interesting how these things come about, almost as if *someone* really is in control out there. Makes me feel a bit humbled again. Well, I haev decided to take my chances and go to walmart to get a few things. If I write anotehr entry you will all know I survived :)

This is the first entry on my bew blog. Everyone is doing it so I figured I ought to jump on the bandwagon and start a new one. I had one on www.thedilly.com, but there were also pictures and other things about my life on there that I don't necessarily wish to share with everyone. This is going to have to be short and sweet. I went to class today, we practiced in the Schilling Center. I feel really good about this performace despite my earlier hesitation. I am feeling much more comfortable with the stage, and also with speaking in front of people, especially the cute ones. Ok, that is all I have to say right about now. Oh yes, Charley is in town for Thanksgiving, I've not seen him yet, nor do I want to. I will write more tomorrow, hopefully this is an uneventful week.